Individuals sometimes
take certain decisions, deliberately or otherwise, that ensure that they stay
single for as long as possible.
Many people, who fall into this category, have
no idea how much they’re jeopardizing their love life. However, it is never too
late to make things right. The important thing is to identify those habits that
are discouraging romantic companionships and work towards becoming a better person.
Emotional availability
Whether
obvious or otherwise, a major way one can ward off love is to exhibit traces of
emotional unavailability. Sometimes, it could be the way you dress, how you
respond to conversation-openers, and even attitude. Even if you are a victim of
a bad breakup, taking offence at the friendliness of all persons of the
opposite sex is not only going to make you resentful for a long time, it will
haunt you in the future when you’re ready to open up again. Remember that there
are far less people to blame for the failure of one relationship. Besides, no
man is an island. Considering the fact that relationships last better when you
start off as friends, you may just be blowing your perfect chance for happiness
when you dismiss all members of the opposite sex under the guise of being
emotionally unavailable.
Improve yourself
It
is easy to dream of finding the perfect Mr or Mrs Right, but what many
individuals fail to work on is to make themselves the right person for a
prospective partner. There are no shortcuts to finding lasting happiness. Many
people set expectations for finding the perfect partner but fail woefully to
set the tone for the prospective ‘perfection’ to find attractive. If as a lady,
you expect a tall, dark, handsome, caring man to fall in love with you, do make
sure you are equally presentable enough, not necessarily in looks, but in
character and self-development. For men, if you expect to marry a woman who you
can trust and whom you expect to be faithful, the least you can do is become
fidelity-personified. It all starts with you.
Become unselfish
When
a person is single, there’s the tendency to adopt certain traits of
selfishness, especially when you live alone or enjoy some sense of
independence. However, if you expect to have a successful relationship, it is
best to be ready to share. Being selfish, negatively independent and expecting
a woman/man to give you all is simply unreasonable. However, sharing doesn’t
mean a person doesn’t deserve to engage in selfish interests. Some people
misunderstand sharing to mean that their lives should revolve around the
significant other. That is another way to send the person running. Each partner
deserves some me-alone time.
Be seen
Many
men and women complain about singlehood but avoid social gatherings, and even
religious activities. Some people even make it worse by avoiding people, even
in church, refuse to attend wedding receptions, discard invitations to meet up
with friends and even prefer to stay alone morning, afternoon and night, if
they don’t have to be at work. At work, they shut out all forms of friendly
conversation. These actions will only succeed in keeping a person single. It is
obvious that you have to be present to be met. The social setting provides a million
and one avenues for meeting people such as church meetings, religious camp
grounds, office parties, movies, decent social clubs, weddings, and even in
buses. What is important is to make yourself available. Who knows, your Mr or
Mrs Right may even be a cousin to the friend of the sister of the bride.
Have self-respect
You
may think people don’t notice, but making yourself too available is a
disadvantage as you only come off as too loose, and will discourage serious
prospective partners. Age is just a number and there’s no rule that says
a person who gets married early will have a more successful marriage than a
person who marries even in his/her 40s or 50s. The important thing is
happiness. Have some self-respect and you will be sure to attract a man/woman
who would respect you, in public and in private. A lot of marriages have
crashed simply on the basis of a man/woman’s willingness to settle for the
nearest seemingly comfortable option.
Live your life
This
singlehood period may just be what you need to make that lasting positive
difference in your life. Focus on making the best of this time without a
partner, rather than dwelling on all the bad things wrong with your life. All
those postponed decisions, such as learning a skill, getting a degree or even
working on your weight can be achieved during this period and it may just
result in getting that partner you have been searching for so long. Refusing to
do anything productive with your life is another way to repel productive
romantic relationships as you will simply come off as unserious. Get your life
back on track.
Source:
tribuneonlineng
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