Science
doesn’t have much to say on the subject of how long sex should last, but an
illuminating New York magazine piece from September 2015 corralled much of the
relevant research.
A
sexual medicine journal study published in 2005 found that the median length of
intercourse was 5.4 minutes, although other research has found medians of up to
7.5 minutes.
Rachel Hills, author
of The Sex Myth, told New York. **While those stats can make for good
conversation starters if you’re at an especially freewheeling party, they
completely ignore foreplay (giving you flashbacks to people from your past,
perhaps?).
Sex is more than just intercourse, and the
time you allot to it should include the time to generate arousal both mentally
and physically,” sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Ian
Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First, tells SELF. “That can mean lots of
touching and foreplay, sharing a fantasy, reading erotica or roleplaying some
sort of kinky scene.” Getting fully aroused can help you achieve orgasm more
quickly, so major points there if that’s what you’re after.
But how quick is too
quick?
In a 2008 study in the
Journal of Sexual Medicine, sex therapists said intercourse that lasted 1-2
minutes was “too short,” 3-7 minutes was “adequate,” 7-13 minutes was
“desirable,” and 10-30 was “too long” (interesting that there’s some overlap
between their opinions on “desirable” and “too long”). But a 2004 study in the
Journal of Sex Research that did actually include foreplay found that on
average, people were indulging in 11-13 minutes of foreplay followed by 7-8
minutes of intercourse, which sounds positively luxurious compared to the
previous numbers. Still, the participants generally wanted sex to last for
double the time.
I know
of a friend who goes as long as 1 hour, well is good, afterall, it keeps body
and soul alive.
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