Science doesn’t have much to say on the subject of how long sex should last, but an illuminating New York magazine piece from September 2015 corralled much of the relevant research.
A sexual medicine journal study published in 2005 found that the median length of intercourse was 5.4 minutes, although other research has found medians of up to 7.5 minutes.
Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth, told New York. **While those stats can make for good conversation starters if you’re at an especially freewheeling party, they completely ignore foreplay (giving you flashbacks to people from your past, perhaps?).
Sex is more than just intercourse, and the time you allot to it should include the time to generate arousal both mentally and physically,” sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First, tells SELF. “That can mean lots of touching and foreplay, sharing a fantasy, reading erotica or roleplaying some sort of kinky scene.” Getting fully aroused can help you achieve orgasm more quickly, so major points there if that’s what you’re after.
But how quick is too quick?
In a 2008 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, sex therapists said intercourse that lasted 1-2 minutes was “too short,” 3-7 minutes was “adequate,” 7-13 minutes was “desirable,” and 10-30 was “too long” (interesting that there’s some overlap between their opinions on “desirable” and “too long”). But a 2004 study in the Journal of Sex Research that did actually include foreplay found that on average, people were indulging in 11-13 minutes of foreplay followed by 7-8 minutes of intercourse, which sounds positively luxurious compared to the previous numbers. Still, the participants generally wanted sex to last for double the time.
I know of a friend who goes as long as 1 hour, well is good, afterall, it keeps body and soul alive.