Getting the right chemistry in a mismatched sexual styles

There is no way, two opposite sex will have the same sexual desires. Many couples find themselves at loggerheads over sexual styles that do not match.
Sometimes, a woman wants it in the mornings, while the male partner wants it only in the midnight. Here are some tips on how couples can manage this issue.
Stop complaining
Discuss it with your sex partner and be specific, if your sexual relationship is not living up to your needs, stop complaining. This means you first need to look within to identify your needs. Maybe you and your partner are not as far apart as you think. Talk about things when you are both calm and rational. Don’t blame each other; talk openly.

Relationship isn’t based on sex
Don’t base a relationship on sex. You need love, compassion and caring – and then sex can be a reflection of that. Don’t think of it in either/or terms: You can cuddle when it’s time for that, have an active sex life as well, and have tremendous love and respect for each other throughout.

Negotiate and compromise
Relationships are about negotiation and compromise – and it never stops. Carve out time. Negotiate a plan that works for both of you. Behave your way to success. If you agreed to a plan and it’s no longer working for you, sit down together and negotiate a new plan. Partners rarely have the same level of sex drive at the same time. Negotiate for some middle ground that you can both be happy with.

Understand your partner’s language
Different people have a different language of love. For example, a lot of guys think, “I mowed the yard. Doesn’t that say I love you?” Are you speaking a language that your partner understands?

Understand emotional needs
Look at your emotional needs because they affect your sexual relationship as well. What sexual baggage did you bring to the relationship? For example, if sex defined previous relationships that failed, you may be reluctant to get too sexually active in a new relationship. Look at your history and learn from it.
Don’t use sex for the wrong reasons, and burden it or load it up with too much meaning. For example, it shouldn’t be a way to validate your partner. It should be an extension of the caring, feeling and respect you have for the other person.

Talk to your doctor

Talk to your doctor for more information about whether biochemical and hormonal factors can be contributing to a low or high sex drive.

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