There is no way, two opposite
sex will have the same sexual desires. Many couples find themselves at
loggerheads over sexual styles that do not match.
Sometimes, a woman wants it
in the mornings, while the male partner wants it only in the midnight. Here are
some tips on how couples can manage this issue.
Stop complaining
Discuss it with your
sex partner and be specific, if your sexual relationship is not living up to
your needs, stop complaining. This means you first need to look within to
identify your needs. Maybe you and your partner are not as far apart as you
think. Talk about things when you are both calm and rational. Don’t blame each
other; talk openly.
Relationship isn’t
based on sex
Don’t base a
relationship on sex. You need love, compassion and caring – and then sex can be
a reflection of that. Don’t think of it in either/or terms: You can cuddle when
it’s time for that, have an active sex life as well, and have tremendous love
and respect for each other throughout.
Negotiate and
compromise
Relationships are
about negotiation and compromise – and it never stops. Carve out time.
Negotiate a plan that works for both of you. Behave your way to success. If you
agreed to a plan and it’s no longer working for you, sit down together and
negotiate a new plan. Partners rarely have the same level of sex drive at the
same time. Negotiate for some middle ground that you can both be happy with.
Understand your
partner’s language
Different people have
a different language of love. For example, a lot of guys think, “I mowed the
yard. Doesn’t that say I love you?” Are you speaking a language that your
partner understands?
Understand emotional
needs
Look at your emotional
needs because they affect your sexual relationship as well. What sexual baggage
did you bring to the relationship? For example, if sex defined previous
relationships that failed, you may be reluctant to get too sexually active in a
new relationship. Look at your history and learn from it.
Don’t use sex for the
wrong reasons, and burden it or load it up with too much meaning. For example,
it shouldn’t be a way to validate your partner. It should be an extension of
the caring, feeling and respect you have for the other person.
Talk to your doctor
Talk to your doctor
for more information about whether biochemical and hormonal factors can be
contributing to a low or high sex drive.
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