Sex in marriage is usually available, but not always necessarily enjoyable. Generally, sex in marriage is a duty-bound venture.A couple has to sleep together sexually because they are duty-bound to service their union. But, great sex which has to do with sexual fulfilment requires more than sleeping together. I wonder how many couples are really enjoying great sex. That we have to talk about it always at home, among friends, clubhouses and other joints may not be unconnected with the fact that quite a lot of married folks don’t enjoy great sex often.
For sex to be great, certain things must be in place. When they are not in place, great sex in marriage becomes an illusion. I term those things as hindrances to great sex, and they include the following.
Financial stress puts a lot of strain on couples. When bills are not met, one will have to do a lot of thinking as to how to secure fund. As a result, one, especially the wife, is not tuned up for great sex. She is the one who has to manage the meagre resources available for the home front. And these days, when the wives are also involved in providing for the home, it becomes double burden - to provide and to manage. When energy has been so much dissipated on funding the marriage, the last thing usually on the wives’ mind is sex. So, couples should plan their finances in such a way to make it less stressful. Also, skills must be developed to tune their mind up for sex under such stressful financial situation.
Sex is a thing of the mind, especially for the wife. When a person is not happy in the marriage, sex cannot be great. Couples should ensure they avoid things that will make them unhappy in marriage. These are things that make us feel we are not loved, appreciated, or we are wrongly married. Like a wife put it the other day, “how can I have sex when I am not happy in the marriage?’’ Sex is also called ‘lovemaking,’ and when one does not feel loved, he/she cannot enjoy great sex in marriage.
When a person is physically exhausted, sex is not usually enjoyable. The struggle for survival puts a lot of drain on the energy. Couples should learn how to free some energy for sexual enjoyment. Nothing stops the husbands from helping out on the home front to help their wives reserve energy for bed activity. It is needful these days when both partners are engaged in providing for the home. If we share financial responsibility, should it not cut across board? An exhausted partner cannot be available for great sex.
Couples should also ensure they stay healthy if they are going to be physically fit for great sex. Practice of good healthy living life must be embraced by couples.
Also, couples must learn to manage their schedule in order to have time for sexual activity together. Sex is a major aspect of a marriage, which if not fulfilled, portends great danger for the marriage. Conscious effort and sacrifice must be made to ensure that great sex is made available in the marriage, if marriage will survive.